It's So Sad

Oh its sad
I love you more than any guy I’ve ever had every time you came around I was glad
No matter how mad
I was glad,
Ecstatic
Aroused
And embellished with pride that you were mine..
But
You reminded me of someone,
it took me a while to figure it out..
When I did I was furious and mad
Cause
You remind me of my dad
Oh its sad that I’m in love with my dad.
This let’s me know that the men I chose to be in my life are emotionally deficient.
The lack of expression of your emotions left me guessing and suppressing my feelings not to out shine yours. I would always fill in the blanks of the things u wouldn’t express verbally..
Oh its sad I’m in love with my dad
Your inconsistencies made up for my in abilities
Your expressions made up for my seemingly wrong comprehensions
Its sad, I’m in love with my dad
And it makes me so FREAKING mad
Because that means I have become the statistic..
A replica of everything I despise
A metaphorical beating stick
Engulfed in the bliss of the past
Lost in the present
Forgetting that there is a future
Unable to embrace the sunshine of tomorrow
Bringing me so much sorrow
Leaving me to borrow
From
time,space, ANYTHING that would fill the void inconsistency, pain, anger, anguish,heartbreak and shame
This is no game
My heart isn’t an object you can just push off of the window pane
Its a gift, a treasure, an irreplaceable gem that I gave to you on purpose
But that doesn’t matter to you
You disregarded as if it had no value no merit no worth in your world
You just tossed it aside
Leaving my hearts rhythm to beat for a man who was marching to the sound of his own drum.
I always seem to fall for your type
And its sad because no matter what you do ill always love you
Oh it so sad so very very sad because I will always be in love with my dad.

By TNT